Angela Lanyon's Corona Verses 201, 11th October onwards, 2020



23rd December, 2020

The vaccine roll out has square wheels
As soon you will discover,
It’s very hot on promises
But action's something other.
It’s possible if you were born
In twenty-twenty one
You’ll get a jab before you die
‘No sooner said than done.’


22nd December, 2020

Canute, that early English king
Set out to stop the tide
But it took no note of him
However hard he tried.
Viruses are much the same
They will not be confined,
And though you did your very best
It crept around behind.


21st December, 2020

The Chancellor wants us to spend
But all the shops are shut
And most of us are too afraid
In case our jobs are cut,
It will take very many years
For us to trust again,
And splash the cash like once we did
And our confidence reclaim.


20th December, 2020

Five days to Christmas
The world has gone awry,
All the plans that we had made
Have just been blown sky high.
I wonder if they ever think,
The ones who made these laws,
The untold depths of misery
They incidentally cause.


19th December, 2020

If you give your Grannie Covid
You’ve just yourself to blame,
We’ve told you many, many times
That you must play the game.
So have a merry Christmas
But there’s a price to pay,
It’s lockdown after lockdown
Till the virus goes away.


18th December, 2020

What on earth is ‘Spotify’,
A Jackson Pollock work.
Or mud flung from the gutter
By a speeding Merc?
The Sussexes are trying hard
To make a vibrant two
But they don’t quite cut the mustard
‘Don’t call us, we’ll call you.’


17th December, 2020

Christmas time we should be jolly
Filling all the rooms with holly,
This year parties are outside
For safety’s sake, fling windows wide,
Roast the turkey on a fire
Who cares if results are dire,
Scarlet noses, fingers blue,
And Merry Christmas to you too!


16th December, 2020

The five days of Christmas
Whatever can I do?
Everything keeps changing
And no one has a clue.
We have to use our common sense
At the Government 's insistence,
No kissing neath the mistletoe
And keep a social distance.


15th December, 2020

Deadlines like elastic
Can be overstretched,
Now looking for agreements
Seems to be far-fetched.
They want a level playing field,
Not sure what they propose.
Another set of offers
Which they can then bulldoze?


14th December, 2020

Brexit, Brexit, here we go,
It’s like a carousel,
Dashing here and there for talks,
It has a fishy smell.
The clock is ticking! Be prepared
For chaos, mess and muddle,
The best intentions often end
In causing lots more trouble.


13th December, 2020

I fear these regulations
Will be with us for some years,
Those in power have sought to try
And emphasise our fears,
Puritans have blossomed
Adding layers of guilt
A web of prohibitions
They craftily have built.


12th December, 2020

Brexit, is it on or off?
Am I infectious if I cough?
Can I get Covid in a pub?
Where is my nearest vaccine hub?
How many families can mix,
Two or three or maybe six?
Questions, questions, tumbling come
But for an answer, no, not one.


11th December, 2020

I feel I’m in a whirlpool
I’m neither here nor there,
Everything keeps changing
I could really tear my hair,
I’m desperate for stability
Just pray in time I’ll meet
A state of equilibrium
Firm ground beneath my feet.


10th December, 2020

I’ll huddle in a corner
Put a blanket on my head
I thought that when the vaccine came
There’d be some light ahead
But they still would like to keep us
With anxiety levels high
We know about the figures
And numbers never lie?


9th December, 2020

The EU is a curious thing
The stuff of psychedelic dreams
It really wants to f... us up
Devising lots of silly schemes
To frustrate all our plans.
But are we finished? No, we’re not.
So Boris, get your finger out
And slice the Gordian Knot.


8th December, 2020

Roll out the vaccine
We’ve got the germs on the run,
Rung up the surgery
That’s where the business is done,
Don’t cheer too loudly
In case you stir the air,
Bacteria when cast adrift
Can settle anywhere.


7th December, 2020

It’s omelette pans again at dawn
Across the Dogger Bank,
And for another fishing war
There’s M. Barnier to thank,
They want our cod and halibut,
They want our cockles too,
You keep your fingers off our fish
Or we’ll know what to do.


6th December, 2020

To be a little raindrop
Is really quite the thing
If you live in California
But not if you’re in Tring,
‘Stiffen up the sinews’
Was what King Harry said,
‘Summon up the blood because
There’s bumpy days ahead’.


5th December, 2020

Climate change and Brexit,
Which is the next disaster,
A dying world, a deal, no deal
Which one is coming faster?
The raven on the roof top
Will soon our fate uncover,
Whatever problem that arrives Is followed by another.


4th December, 2020

Chicken bites and vaccines
In laboratories are made,
It’s wonderful how science
Comes rushing to our aid,
I wonder how the world will be,
How confident we’ll feel
When nothing that we hear is true
Nor what we eat is real?


3rd December, 2020

They’re going to roll the vaccine out
They’ll pull out all the stops,
The surgeries, the pharmacies
Make use of empty shops,
They’ll utilise the army,
Maybe the navy too,
But if you ring the help line
I doubt if you’ll get through.


2nd December, 2020

Not lions led by donkeys
But wolves protecting sheep,
Picking off the weakest
While all the others sleep,
Communities are torn apart
Suspicion follows fear,
Is there a plan to end all this?
Well, possibly - next year.


1st December, 2020

A PM to the Commons goes
To rally his supporters,
We really need to make the most
That locking down has taught us.
"But what of our constituents?"
The rebel MPs cried
"They’re fed up with restrictions
And no longer on your side."


30th November. 2020

Now the lockdown ends in tiers
A fact you’ll soon discover
Nothing really changes
Just one name for another.
A layer cake of confusion,
Alas, too many cooks,
Ingredients are widely sourced
From ancient witchcraft books.


29th November, 2020

Litter, litter everywhere
We’ve really trashed the place,
Face masks in the gutter,
Underpants in space.
What are the bright lights I see
I’ve counted five or six,
UFOs or meteors
Or just discarded knicks?


28th November, 2020

There’s tiers and tiers and tiers of tiers
A monstrous wedding cake
And when it all comes tumbling down
You’ll realise your mistake,
Restrictions will be flouted
Regulations bent
You’ll soon become a laughing stock
And treated with contempt.


27th November, 2020

My lovely, cuddly Granny
Had put away a stash,
So I went and gave her Covid
And inherited the cash,
It wasn’t really murder,
I wasn’t by her side
Because she’d tested positive
Three weeks before she died.


26th November, 2020

Christmas time, so let’s be jolly,
Having high jinx? Purest folly.
You may not on the sofa sit,
The regulations don’t permit,
Fling the windows open wide
Germs make merry hell inside,
And please remember, never go
And snog beneath the mistletoe.


25th November, 2020

There’s a vaccine, and it’s Christmas,
Oh, is it really true,
There’s a chance of us escaping
From the misery we’ve been through?
Don’t start to count your chickens,
Keep your fingers firmly crossed,
There’s oft a slip twixt cup and lip
And footholds could be lost.


24th November, 2020

Up the ladder and down the snake,
Or is it the other way round?
It’s like an hysterical board game
When you pass the virus around,
Professor Plum in the pantry,
Pick a card, but only pick one
For we’re only pawns in the Government's game
When everything’s said and done.


23rd November, 2020

Will we, won’t we, can we, can’t we,
What will happen next?
No one seems to have a clue
No wonder we are vexed,
I’m sinking ever deeper
Into existential despair,
I wish there was the slightest hope
Of normal life somewhere.


22nd November, 2020

Cromwell cancelled Christmas,
Will Boris do the same?
He wants to keep us dangling
So there’s someone to blame
If things go really pear shaped,
And if the NHS
Is overwhelmed with patients
And collapses through the stress.


21st November, 2020

January brings the snow
Back in lockdown we will go,
Feb and March with driving rain,
Much the same comes round again.
Spring and summer will appear
And they add another tier,
Meanwhile the country struggles on
Wondering where life has gone.


20th November, 2020

Science has the answers
So how can you explain
They got it wrong not just once
But time and time again?
"We’re following the science"
The politicians said,
It’s a pity that they didn’t use
Some common sense instead.


19th November, 2020

The puppet master's vanished
But he’s severed all the strings,
And now they blunder round in heaps
Like flies who’ve lost their wings.
Trouble, muddle, break the bubble,
Now we’ve to find a way
Without a dreadful loss of face
To sort out Christmas Day.


18th November, 2020

Track and trace the catch all
Of governmental spies,
It casts its net on everyone
And tight the noose it ties,
But actions have reactions
And those who make these laws
May find, much sooner than they think,
Their life's been put on pause.


17th November, 2020

The daily round, the common task,
But, please, be sure to wear a mask,
Don’t shout at people in the shop,
They’re far too frail to cope with strops,
Often sanitise your hands
In case on them a virus lands,
And always, always, let’s be clear,
Don’t ever touch your near and dear.


16th November, 2020

Vaccines, vaccines, everywhere
And coming very soon,
December, Christmas, spring maybe,
And certainly by June.
Once more you’ll need a pinch of salt
To work out how and when
An Act of Faith in those who say
"It’s back to normal then."


15th November, 2020

Guilt by association
Is the point of track and trace,
The way by those in power
To ensure you know your place,
The Spanish Inquisition
And the Stasi were the same
Dictators will abuse it
To see you play the game.


14th November, 2020

How come all these advisors
That flock around in droves,
Popping out of woodwork
Like Carroll’s slithy toves?
Their suggestions were conflicting
Their advice changed day to day,
I guess there’s lots of cheering
If they all have gone away.


13th November, 2020

The country is in chaos
Yet they stage a playground brawl,
‘If I can’t have just what I want
You can’t play with my ball.’
And now we’ve been divided
It’s very plain to see
The only one who matters
Every time is Little Me.


12th November, 2020

Don’t think all these restrictions
Will vanish overnight,
When governments have screwed you down
They want the lid kept tight,
The Witchcraft Act was not repealed
Till nineteen fifty one,
There may be parallels, I think,
When all is said and done.


11th November, 2020

There’s promise of a vaccine,
Experts are lying low,
Shortly they’ll be telling us
There’s still some way to go.
They've had a taste of power, you see,
Their pictures on the screen,
It’s very hard to give that up
And become an old has-been.


10th November, 2020

The media does its very best
To keep us all amused,
With hospitals and quiz shows
And cookery reviews.
There’s glimpses into nature
Portillo on the train,
With all this erudition
What’s happened to my brain?


9th November, 2020

For Pete’s sake, Boris Johnson,
Go and comb your hair!
You look more like Scarecrow
Each day, I do declare.
A tousled look is charming
On a  lusty eight year lad,
But on a slightly older bloke
It looks distinctly mad.


8th November, 2020

We stand to honour those who died
Though we are now in chains,
Of the freedoms that they fought for
Little now remains,
How many who defended us
Are still around today?
Their courage then
should make us blush
This day, and everyday.


7th November, 2020

I’ve got some coloured pencils
And I’m going to make a graph,
With lots of mystic mountains
And a downward sloping path,
I’ll scatter it with drawings
Of people hand in hand,
A glimpse into the future
Of a Never-never Land.


6th November, 2020

If you left your dog alone
Inside a flat each day,
The RSPCA would come
And take your pet away.
Quite rightly you’d be summoned
For lack of proper care....
I wonder if it’s ringing bells
Is something missing there?


5th November, 2020

Parliament's collapsing,
The stones are worn away,
It’s overrun with vermin
The woodwork's in decay,
Winter, Fawkes and Winter,
The demolition crew
We’re hanged and drawn and quartered
For what they didn’t do.


4th November, 2020

Governments don’t care for us
They only want our vote
I hope you’re taking this on board,
And making careful note.
So next when they come calling
With promises galore
You’ll sweetly say "No, thank you"
And firmly shut the door.


3rd November, 2020

Now you’ve lost your freedoms
As I warned you months ago,
But none of you believed
That this would end up so.
I’m afraid they haven’t finished
With their smoke and mirrors game,
For shortly after Christmas
They’ll be doing just the same.


2nd November, 2020

Spontaneous combustion
Happens now and then,
Sometimes to old haystacks
Sometimes to angry men,
I’m like an unexploded bomb
With incandescent rage
At unelected robots
Who would stuff me in a cage.


1st November, 2020

If a system doesn’t work
Don’t try the same again,
It’s the very obvious symptom
Of an atrophying brain,
People who have one track minds
Quite often hit the buffers,
Which leaves them open to the scorn
Of those they counted duffers.


31st October, 2020

Empty out the vacuum bag
And put it on your head,
It’s the very best protection
Just now, so the experts said,
It’s a pretty scary thing to do
Today is Hallowe'en,
‘Is this a monster that I see.’
Or just a mutant gene?


30th October, 2020

Panic is galloping back again.
Beware, the second wave!
Gloom and doom on the BBC
Faces exceptionally grave.
There’s graphs and wild predictions
To aggregate our fears
That if we don’t obey the rules
It all will end in tiers.


29th October, 2020

What’s the point of an election
When the MPs are ignored?
Rules are made by robot experts
For whom we’re counters on a board,
A postcode chance card sends us spinning
Landing us on  ‘Go to jail’,
A sneaky game of snakes and ladders
With a sting in every tail.


28th October, 2020

Shutter every window
Put bars on every door,
I want to hug my neighbour
Like I have done before,
I never thought when younger
There would come a time
When tightly holding loved ones
Would be counted as a crime.


27th October, 2020

What has happened to compassion?
The Government has hearts of stone,
Spluttering relationships,
Letting loved ones die alone.
Giving alms, a Muslim duty,
‘Feed the hungry,’ Jesus said
Yet we stand round arguing
When hungry children should be fed.


26th October, 2020

Covid experts in the soup,
Know all pundits loop the loop,
In every changing rule I see
Evidence of insanity.
Track and trace have gone for broke,
Testing times are just a joke,
They have no plan but should explain
The need to lock us up again.


25th October, 2020

The clock has now gone back again,
I wish that time would too,
To when we were free people
And I could cuddle you.
To days when we could plan ahead
Be sure that things would be
Still possible at breakfast time
As yesterday at tea.


24th October, 2020

He who would a hermit be
Should try self isolation,
Now solitary confinement
Has enveloped half the nation
Deprived of social contact
Even monkeys run amok
What can the Government expect
When they impose a lock?


23rd October, 2020

He who would a hermit be
Should try self isolation,
Now solitary confinement
Has enveloped half the nation
Deprived of social contact
Even monkeys run amok
What can the Government expect
When they impose a lock?


22nd October, 2020

A kingdom that’s divided
We know it cannot stand,
Now Boris has fragmented
This once united land,
He’s opened up a can of worms
To find they’re killer bees,
e’ll never get the lid back on
How much he tries to please.


21st October, 2020

It’s no go on the hill sides,
It’s no go in the vales,
It’s no go anywhere you are
If you are stuck in Wales.
“Guide me, oh, thou great Jehovah”
But we’re not allowed to stray,
The Land of Song is silent
Till the virus goes away.


20th October, 2020

What is a substantial meal?
It all depends on what you are,
What would satisfy a mouse
Wouldn’t suit a Jaguar.
A Cornish pasty is a snack,
Come on - now get to grips -
Just put it on a larger plate
With salad and some chips.


19th October, 2020

There’s a stand off in the city,
There’s a stand off in the shires,
Andy up in Manchester
More money he requires,
They’re following the science
But experts can’t agree,
It’s time to sort this muddle
Out and set the people free.


18th October, 2020

Track and trace the Brexit plan,
That is, if you are able,
As politicians congregate
Around the conference table.
I notice that they don’t wear masks
Or keep a  social distance,
Like others we could mention
They lead a charmed existence.


17th October, 2020

Flicking through the paper
For a place pour my scorn
The fishing wars are on again,
Frying pans at dawn.
The Frenchmen want our scallops.
It’s enough to make us snap
So hone your knives, my hearties,
And get ready for a scrap.


16th October, 2020

We’ve now released three tiers of risk
To help us state our case,
Medium, high and very high,
We’ve carefully put in place.
We cannot have a low risk plan
Lest people should relax,
It wouldn’t do for them to know
We massage all the facts.


15th October, 2020

Sage, a herb that goes with pork,
An older Chinese bloke,
Not a gang of scientists
Conjuring with smoke,
Sagacity, is wisdom
Honed by many years,
Not ominous pronouncements
That play on people’s fears.


14th October, 2020

Algorithms, algorithms,
I wonder what they are?
A jolly music combo
Playing in a bar?
A length of waving seaweed
That wraps around your oar?
Oh, algorithms, algorithms,
Please tell me what you’re for.


13th October, 2020

Freedom is in tatters
We’re governed by decree,
Unelected experts
Have snatched our liberty.
I think I warned you months ago
That trouble lay ahead,
But what sounded then unlikely
Has come back on our head.


12th October, 2020

Moaning Meg is off again,
She says she has been trolled,
“No one cares for little me,”
Once again we’re told.
She wants to live a private life
Not in a glitter box,
But if we took her at her word,
She’d soon be on the rocks.


11th October, 2020

Our puritanical government
Doesn’t want us to have fun
It likes to think we’re miserable,
It wants to know we’re glum
It likes to keep us separate
Inside a different box
And answers every problem
With another lot of locks.

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